A Peace of Me

Today

2010-10-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

Life lessons from my 26th year of life...all one day of it:

Pumpkin Spice Lattes when placed in the microwave for a minute and a half in it's original Starbucks container will explode.
75 years old landlord's with white hair, a 30 year missionary background in Mexico, and a name like "Van Gladden" will fix your screen door when it breaks. He will also break two windows in your garage...
Not all What-a-burger's are created equal.
Six year old soccer games can be intense. Sweat, blood, and tears.
When a one year old's can unlock an iPhone, one can only guess what kind of technology will be around when that one year old has a one year old.
Roommates are the best. Especially roommates that you can borrow clothes from. and shoes. and jewelry. and toothpaste. and...
Annie Hennie is one of the greatest people I think I will ever know.
My brothers look cute in glasses.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

I am sure there will be much more wisdom to come in the days ahead. :)

A Stolen Entry

2010-09-26T20:35:00.001-07:00

Hello. Remember me? No? That's ok. I'm just going to pretend I haven't been gone for the past 4 months and continue blogging. Here it is.

Please read this. It challenged me and encouraged me. I pray it does the same for you.

And, yes, I did steal this from the lovely AEH...who needs to come back to America soon.

THE VISION,

FROM RED MOON RISING

by Pete Grieg

So this guy comes up to me and says, “What’s the vision? What’s the big idea?”
I open up my mouth and the words come out like this:

The vision?
The vision is Jesus:
obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is of an army of young people.
You see bones?
I see an army.

And they are free from materialism—
They laugh at nine-to-five little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the West was won.

They are mobile like the wind.
They belong to the nations.
They need no passport.
People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting, dirty and dying.

What is the vision?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry.
It gave up the game of minimal integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best.
It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, from every conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps—their Satan games.

This is an army that would lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day, its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great “well done” of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.

They don’t need fame from names.
Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”
And this is the sound of the underground, the whisper of history in the making, foundations shaking, revolutionaries dreaming once again.
Mystery is scheming in whispers, conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground.

And the army is disciple(in)ed—
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes.
Winners.
Martyrs.
Who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them?

And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulfuric tears and great barrow loads of laughter!

Waiting.
Watching.
24-7-365.

Whatever it takes they will give:
Breaking the rules,
Shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide,
Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs,
Laughing at labels,
Fasting essentials.
The advertisers cannot mold them.
Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late-night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive on the inside.
On the outside?
They hardly care!
They wear clothes like costumes: to communicate and celebrate, but never to hide.

Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their lives, swap seats with the man on death row, guilty as hell: a throne of an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as though it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses Jesus.
He breathes out.
They breathe in.
Their subconscious sings.
They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.

Their words make demons scream in shopping malls.
Don’t you hear them coming?

Herald the weirdoes!
Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes!
They walk tall and trees applaud.
Skyscrapers bow.
Mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.

Their prayers summon the Hound of Heaven and evoke the dream of Eden.

And, this vision will be.
It will come to pass.
It will come easily.
It will come soon.

How do I know?
Because, this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the spirit, the very dream of God.

My tomorrow is His today.
My distant hope is His 3-D.
And, my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking, great “AMEN!” from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself.

And He is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed."

Something is Better than Nothing

2010-05-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my lack of updates as of late...I have neglected you, my ones of followers. As I am graduating this Saturday (whoot whoot!) and will not be starting a job any time soon, I hope to be better at this to keep you all entertained.

Here is an overview of key points of my life over the past month or so:

I finished up my last two weeks of Capstone class, presenting a total of 3 presentations (one of which was rather a major one), and making 100 on all of them.
Welcomed into the world Aidan Josiah Murray!!! And I am realizing how I love, love, love this new season of everyone around me having babies!

Was able to visit with my family for the weekend, without knowing there is something looming over me that I need to get done! Paul and Debi were first on Friday night (where another wonderful conversation arose...stay tuned...), then Rachel's soccer game/Cici's lunch with her 11 year old soccer team and a mad game of Uno with them all, and then dinner Saturday night and time on Sunday with my wonderful Mom, John, Nana and Papaw.

(This picture was taken at my sister's soccer game, but it just makes me smile.)

That's not much, but it's the best I can do at 12:20 in the morning. Love you guys...more to come soon. :)

Beat It

2010-04-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, so apparently I am on this video kick now, but this is awesome. One of the reasons why I love Baylor is because you never know what is going to happen. This group of students started doing a choreographed dance to "Beat it" in the middle of campus yesterday. I love things like this. I would love to be a part of this one day...

Albertine

2010-04-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, here is another video/song. This it's just good... "Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead..." Watch and be motivated/encouraged.

I am sitting still
I think of Angelique
Her mother’s voice over me
And the bullets in the wall where it fell silent

And on a thousandth hill
I think of Albertine
There in her eyes what I don’t see
With my own

Rwanda

CHORUS
Now that I have seen
I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you
In my own arms
I cannot let go ‘til you are

I cannot let go ‘til you are

I am on a plane
Across a distant sea
But I carry you in me
And in the dust on, the dust on my feet

Rwanda

CHORUS

Bridge
And I’ll tell the world
I will tell them where I’ve been
I will keep my word
I will tell them, Albertine

CHORUS

I am on a stage
A thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine

Nail Biting

2010-04-22T09:12:00.001-07:00

Well I started biting my nails today. This is always a sign for me that I am getting stressed out. I have had nails most of the year, which is a good sign, however, now that I have two weeks left in my program and still have a major presentation coming up, the pressure is catching up to me.

I recognize that I have not updated in the past month. The work load of grad school caught up with me. Here is a quick recap of what all has happened:

I finished my internship with Gladney. My last week there I attended a 3 different luncheons, a vision meeting, and a post placement visit. It was a crazy week. I am sad that this part of my life is over. I realize how much I enjoyed being there. The people there were so wonderful, and I will miss them very much.
I said goodbye to Paul and Debi. I ABSOLUTLEY loved living with Paul and Debi these past few months. They have been my family, my community and my friends. I am incredibly thankful for this time with them, and I look forward to more times with them in the future.
I moved back to Waco. It is great being back here. It's weird though. My life is completely different from last week. Last week I was going to meetings and talking with my families and now I am sitting in a classroom for 4 hours, starting at 8 AM every day…Baylor Science Building, be glad I like you. It has been really wonderful thought being back and getting to jump back in to life here. My roommates, my lifegroup, the Bonows, Antioch, and Baylor. I've had some wonderful refreshing conversations over the past few weeks, and I look forward to finishing school so I can have more of them!

So, that is what has been going on and I don't even really want to talk about what is coming up…just know that I am biting my nails (which is not a good thing). Please pray for peace, wisdom and diligence in these next two weeks. Right now, I am going to go enjoy Dia del Oso…the first burn of the year (even though it is cloudy), ultimate Frisbee tournaments, dog shows, and concerts. Too bad the SSW thinks it is ok to still have class today, even though the rest of the university says it's a day off.

I love you all, my readers. I'm off to the dog show.

Thoughts from the day

2010-03-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

* God is love. God’s word is truth. Neither of those can be changed.

* Why is popcorn in a tin (sold by the boy scouts) so enticing and addicting?

* Pizza may be my favorite food. Especially pizza from Sams (the "Take and Bake" kind.)

* I am glad that I left my running shoes in Waco.

* Burnt Pizza makes me very sad. Especially when it is the last piece.

* Popcorn in a tin is going to be the death of me.

* “Jesus you’re my light within, Jesus you’ve made me what I am.” I love United Pursuit Band.

* I am very excited that tomorrow is Free Pastry Day at Starbucks.

* I am very much looking forward to wearing Courtney’s bridesmaid dress on Easter Sunday.

* Because of the last two thoughts: I wish I had brought my running shoes back to Fort Worth.

* I love my Chacos.

* I don't love research.

* Maybe I'll get to sleep at a decent hour tonight...

A Starbucks Conversation

2010-03-21T18:21:00.001-07:00

This evening I was sitting in Starbucks working on one of the many logs I have for class. In walks 2 middle aged couples in cardigans, sweater vests, London Fog raincoats, and sparkly faux jewelry (for imagery sake.) As they walk in I can tell they are going to be a delightful bunch. They joke and kid around with each other, with no concern to their volume.

After 20 minutes or so, 2 indie college student males walk in. They are delightfully clothed in bandannas, unbuttoned flannels, skinny jeans with cowboy boots, index rings, v-necks, etc.

As they the young'ens are getting sugar for their coffee/tea, the two older gentlemen turn around and say to them, " Are you guys guitar players?" To which they reply "Yes, we are." The 4 go on to discuss what kinds of guitars they play, what kind of music they play, if they are in a band, good guitar shops (one called "Waco" in Mansfield…check it out if you are ever in this area), what they do, sound systems, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and Tom Petty's beginnings, for the next 15 minutes.

My favorite quote from their conversation, "Yeah, we [the young'ens] don't like BOSE sound systems…cheap material…they should sound for 'Buy Other Sound Equipment'…" At which they all laughed heartily.

Is it bad that I enjoy muting my music and listening to other conversations around me in public places? I don't think so.

As the delightful bunch has left and been replaced by a TCUer and her parents, I have un-muted music and began my work again…and my work was, of course, this entry…

Leprechaun, Leprechaun

2010-03-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, here is a delightful little video about a small town that encountered a leprechaun...ENJOY!

Please take note of the "Amateur Sketch"...

"Anybody seen a Leprechan say 'yeah'!"

A Dinner Conversation

2010-03-11T19:07:00.000-08:00

Debi: Why don't you do e-Harmony?

I just stare back at her, blankly. As does Paul.

Debi: It would be great. We can find you some nice guys here in Fort Worth.

Blank stares continue.

Debi: Ok, if you're not dating anyone by your birthday, we'll get you set up on there for you.

Me: Alright. (In somewhat of a sarcastic manner.)

Debi: Ok then. Paul are there any single guys at your work?

Paul: Yeah. There's two. The first is about 6'3, 300 lbs, named Juan Medina, but I think he's a confirmed bachelor.

Me: Eh, too tall.

Paul: Then there's Matthew (I forget his last name.) He's about 5'8, 140 lbs. Attractive guy, works out every day, Christian.

Debi: Can you take a picture of him tomorrow at school for us? And where does he go to church?

Paul: I don't know.

Debi: Can you ask him tomorrow at lunch? I mean we are looking for a church...it's not that far off.

I'll bet he doesn't have a home cooked meal very often...

Or maybe we can just come have lunch with you one day.

Me: Paul, you could forget your lunch tomorrow and I can bring it up to you and I could just happen to run into him.

Paul gets up to leave the table.

Debi: Paul, where are you going?

Paul: I'm going to find a picture of him on the Internet...there's a picture of everyone on there.

Funny thing is, I wasn't serious...they were. Well, at least I'll get e-Harmony paid for me for my birthday.

I'm ok with 40%

2010-03-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

This is my 3rd post in 3 days...can you tell I have a project I am doing (and blogging to distract myself)? Anyways, this blog is on a less spiritual note.

I have been spending a good amount of time at the Starbucks in Ft. Worth by TCU's campus, and I have noticed a few things. So, I have compiled a list of why I don't fit in here.

Top 10 reasons I don't fit in at TCU (or at least the Starbucks by it):

I don't own a fishing shirt
I don't have a Mac Book
I don't have Toms (even though this was on my Christmas list last year) or Sperry's
I don't have an iPhone...yet
The running shorts I wear are closer to my knees than, well, they're closer to my knees.
I don't wear a fishing shirt with my toms/sperry's and tights...only

Ok, so I don't have 10 reasons. I guess I fit in 40% of the time...but if I must wear a fishing shirt with tights, I don't think I want to.

Just saying.

*Please note that this blog was not written out of a comparison, coveting, or judgemental mindset. I checked my heart after writing this.

Favorite

2010-03-09T21:43:00.000-08:00

If you know me, you probably know that I hate favorite questions...because I just don't know what my "favorite" anything is...especially on the spot. However, I think that this might be my favorite, yes I said it, song right now. I hope it blesses you, as it has me.

"The orphan clings to Your hand
Singing the song of how he was found
The widow rejoices
For her oppressors are silenced now

You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side

The runaway falls at Your feet
You are what he has searched for
The rich man is broken
When he stands beneath a sky full of stars

You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side"

I love hearing Bethany talk about writing this song...

"The Lord is rebuilding Jerusalem and bringing the exiles back to Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds."
-Psalms 147: 2-3

It's simple...right?

2010-03-08T21:08:00.000-08:00

"Save your best striving for seeking my face. I am constantly communicating with you. To find Me and hear My voice, you must seek Me above all else. Anything that you desire more than Me becomes an idol. When you are determined to get your own way, you blot Me out of your consciousness. Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, talk with Me about it. Let the Light of My Presence shine on this pursuit, so that you can see it from My perspective. If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it. If it is contrary to My will for you, I will gradually change the desire of your heart. Seek Me first and foremost; then the rest of your life will fall into place, piece by piece. "

-March 8, Jesus Calling, Sarah Young

How come no one told me that seeking his face was going to be one of the hardest things I was ever going to do...and yet, one of the things I desire above all else. How does that work?

Ok, ok. Not simple, not easy, but desired. Lord, help this become the greatest overwhelming desire of my heart that it eventually becomes second-nature to me.

Thank you Hennighausen Christmas gift exchange for this wonderful book of truth. Love.

A Good Cry

2010-03-02T20:06:00.000-08:00

You know how sometimes you just need to cry? And not just a few tears here and there, but really cry...tears streaming down your face, puffy eyes, red splotches on your cheeks kind of cry? That's a good cry. All of that pent up emotion and frustration and sadness comes pouring out of you and you just cannot control it...it feels good. Honestly, I enjoy a good cry every now and then...as long as I don't have to be near anyone.

Well, that's what happened to me today...at internship. Oops. But I just couldn't help it. That feeling of overwhelmedness, and that everything you are doing is wrong and everyone is blaming you (which is of course not what is true, but in that moment it is.)

But it was OK, I, thankfully, did not see anyone in those moment of breakdown. After a few minutes, I knew I wasn't going to recover. So, as useless as I was, I went home for "lunch" (as the note said on my supervisors desk.)

As soon as I was out of the parking lot the floodgates opened. I came home, put on some worship music, layed on my bed and cried.

It felt good.

I love it because it is in those moments where I recognize, I am so weak, I am so fallible, I am so useless...apart from Jesus.

I need him. I really need him. I think I need him more than most others.

Without him I don't know what I am doing. Oh, sure, I may pretend to know, but I recognize I need his guidance, I need his peace throughout the day, I need to know that no matter what happens I am safe in his arms, and I am secure in who he has created me to be. When I don't know this, I fall apart, as I did today.

But it is good, because it brings me back to a place of humility in knowing that I cannot do this on my own. I am not living for myself, but for Him and His Glory. And I can't reflect that when I don't remain in him.

So, thank you Lord for that reminder to remain in you today...and for not letting anyone at work see my puffy eyes filled with tears.

What constitues a friend?

2010-02-24T20:51:00.000-08:00

Gracious, it has been almost 2 weeks since my last update, and that is not OK!

While I don't have much time to write, as it is almost 11:00 pm, I am tired, and my computer is about to die, I wanted to update to tell everyone I am alive and well and please keep checking my blog. I don't want to loose my 2 followers!!!

So, I leave you with this questions, rhetorical if you wish, what constitues a friend?

Someone who stays up to 2:00 in the morning just to celebrate your birthday? Someone who travels 400 miles to be with you?

Someone who encourages you to love and BE LOVED deeper than you ever have before?

Someone who shares their food with you just to spend time with you/let you spend time with them?

Someone who forgives you, even when you don't deserve it?

Someone who sits with you when you are covered in tears and snot?

Someone who tells you the truth, even when it is hard to hear?

Someone who sacrifices comfortable living spaces, just to be near to you?

I don't really know, and I don't really care. All I know,is that I love them.

Snow Day

2010-02-12T11:07:00.000-08:00

Two weekeneds in a row I have been able to be surrounded by SNOW! I can't remember the last time that has happened! I have loved it! I have always loved snow, but living in Texas, I just never got to play in it. Yesterday, I was in heaven every time I looked out my window and saw the beautiful snow coming down so hard all day! At work yesterday, there was no work getting done. Everyone went out to the hill next to Gladney and went sledding down it on boxes, lids, trash bags, anything we could find. Even the President of Gladney was out there sledding down the hill. Along with our Legal Council (aka lawyer) who was leading the sledding pack in her FUR coat! I loved it. They ordered pizza for everyone for lunch and then we all went home early. My hours for internship might be a little short this week...sorry Terri.

The area behind Gladney...so pretty.

SLEDDING AT WORK! (I'm on the far right...someone stole my cardboard covered with a trashbag so I got stuck with the trachcan lid...it didn't work as well.)

Last one to make it down.

Building the snowman...the lawyer is the one in the fur to the left. :)

This morning when I woke up Paul said that Debi had been wanting to go out and play in the snow all morning, but they didn't want to wake me. So, when the sleepy head finally got up at 8:30, we went out and played in the snow. Snowball fights, snowman building, walks down the lane...it was so fun. Here are some picturs from the morning.

Here is the infamous Paul and Debi. I finally got a picture with them. Here they are with our "lawn man" (get it...he is in the lawn...)

Here we all are. :) Post snow ball fight.

Afterwards we came in and made waffles...like from scratch. I learned how to beat eggs until they are "stiff" and "fold" in something. Yummy!

The cozy fire we had going...I had to share because I love atmosphere...

Hope everyone is staying warm and dry! :)

DONDON

2010-02-09T19:59:00.000-08:00

What does 14 hours in a car, 2 games of Clue, 4 incredible meals (one of which being DONDON, Laura's Japanese step-mother's restaurant), 2 plates of incredible Valentines Day cookies and a Japanese Strawberry Birthday cake, 1 Super Bowl, 1 dead animal in the trash can, 7 games of Killer Uno, 3 nights of going to bed way after midnight, 1 snowball fight, lots of running around in the snow, and lots and lots and lots and lots of laughter get you...

...ONE INCREDIBLE WEEKEND!!!

On Mass. Street in Lawrence, Kansas. Next to the trashcan with the dead animal...sick.

DONDON!!!

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY COURTNEY!!! (Cake made by Ikuko and Laura...Japanese style)

The YUMMY cookies Fox made. I think I ate all of these...hense the grueling 3 mile run today.

Clue game #1, where we found out we were missing the "Conservatory" card the hard way...

Eating at BRIO on the Plaza in Kansas City.

I must admit, I had never seen snow roll before! (Picture taken on Laura's practice soccer fields at Blue Valley Northwest High School...while we were trespassing. Shhh...)

FLYING IKUKO DOMINATING AT UNO

You know, just hanging out with the penguins...or something.

These people bring me so much joy and happiness...I wish it could have never ended! Alas, it had to, but I did learn a few things:

I love my friends.
Fox needs to move back to Texas. And she is also one big muscle.
Courtney and Sam are perfect for each other.
JC makes me think of Jesus when I look at her.
I LOVE SNOW! Texas needs to look like a winter wonderland all winter long.
I could eat those heart cookies all the time...and did this weekend.
I love my friends...had to say it again.
Long car rides are really fun...when people arn't sick.
You can only hear "What'cha say" so many times before never wanting to hear it again.
Taking work on trips like this is useless...it just doesn't happen.

Egypt 2012...here we come...

Beyond excited

2010-02-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I embark on a journey...an 8 hour journey. I travel to Lawrence, Kansas. It will be with these people:

Myself, JC, Courtney, Laura Fox (only in real life, not only on a mug), and Sam! I am beyond excited...WAY beyond!!! There will be food at Ikuko's restaurant (Laura's step mom), eating at a fancy-pants restaurant in downtown KC, a Super Bowl Party (where we will be eating snacks, not watching the Super Bowl), SNOW!, and laughter...lots, and lots, and lots of laughter. Please enjoy these pictures, as they are the people I will be staring at all weekend. I know, I am so lucky!

Laura Fox...I know, I konw what you are thinking everyone...and no, that is not William Penn. It's Napoleon.

JC, she will look different in the next picturs...her lovely locks of hair will be down.

The Soon-to-be-Binkley's. They will look like this all weekend...so, so happy!!!!

Crazy Love

2010-01-25T17:57:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I had lunch with a girl form work and she mentioned she was reading this book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I had never heard of it, but I thought it sounded good, so I made a mental note of it. The next week I was in a bookstore, and I saw the book on sale there, again making a mental note of it. This past weekend I was in Waco having a conversation with the Bonows and Matt asked me if I had read "Crazy Love"...ok God, I get it. Yes, I am that dense that you have to tell me something 3 times before I do it. Matt gave me the book and is letting me borrow it for a few weeks while I read it.

Page by page I become more enamored by God and convicted by the way I choose to live out my life. The chapter I am on now is entitled "Profile of the Lukewarm"...I know, right? Here are a few exerts:

LUKEWARM People don't want to be saved from their sin, they want to be saved from the penalty of their sin..."I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" John 10:10

LUKEWARM People rarely share their faith with people...they don't want to make people feel unfomfortable..."Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will also disown him before my Father in Heaven." Matthew 10:32-33

LUKEWARM People think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven. Daily life is focused much more on today's to-do list, this week's schedule, and next months vacation. Rarely, if ever, do they consider the life to come. Reguarding this, C.S. Lewis writes, "If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this." "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ." Phil. 3: 20

In my life, I so long for peace and comfort, but I think I get confused in thinking they are one in the same. Peace comes from the Father, from Jesus...the Prince of Peace. Comfort I try and seek out on my own, thinking it is something to be obtained..."If I could only have my own room...if I was 10 pounds lighter...if I had a higher paying job...if I was married...if I...then I would be comfortable, it would all be alright..." Not true.

Being lukewarm is comfortable to me. I don't want to be lukewarm. I want to be in love...crazily. Lord help me.

Ethan

2010-01-23T13:48:00.000-08:00

This is Ethan. He is the second oldest of the 4 Bonow boys. I lived with the Bonow family for the past 4 years, and they are all very near and dear to my heart. Ethan will be 4 in March, and I remember when he was BORN! Crazy. Anyays, I love him. I love all of them. But these pictures made me smile today, so I thought I would share.

These were taken at a birthday party Courtney and I took him and Elijah (the 5 year old) to.

It warms my heart. Love you Bonows!

Truth

2010-01-20T19:49:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up and went out to get some coffee (a luxury that I have here in Ft. Worth, coffee with creamer made for me each day) and as I went out Paul was watching the news and told me about the second earthquake in Haiti.

My heart dropped. I thought about Ben and Katie, and the team from Antioch that left a few days ago as relief workers, I thought about the people who have already been through so much devastation and loss... I got my coffee and went back to my room.

As I sat on my bed, I started praying for all of the above, and the Lord brought to my mind Job. He was conflicted, torn to pieces, brought to devastation, and yet found peace and wholeness in the midst of it. Now, I'm not one of those people who typically just opens my bible and whatever page it falls on is where I read. However, in this instance, I opened my bible, looking for Job, and I opened it right to Job, chapter 42. The first words I read were "The Deliverance of Job." Like I said, I'm not one of those people, but I knew that the Lord had something powerful he wanted to say.

I read "Job's Repentance" at the beginning of the chapter, but then I read this in the notes at the bottom of my Ryrie Study Bible:

"...If we know God, we do not need to know why He allows us to experience what we do. He is not only in control of the universe and all its facets but also our lives, and He loves us. Though His ways are sometimes beyond our comprehension, we should not criticize Him for his dealings with us or with others. God is always in control of all things, even when He appears not to be."

Thank you Jesus for this TRUTH. That you not only love and are caring for the people of Haiti, but you feel that same passionate love and desire for me.

Train Travel

2010-01-18T12:24:00.001-08:00

One of the things I love about bigger cities like New York, Washington D.C., Sevilla, Spain, Mainz, Germany is the public transportation systems. I love them. I love staring out the window at the world zooming by outsize. I love knowing that there is so much outside of that car I should be dealing with, but I can't, because I am being taken away to someplace and there is nothing I can do but sit and wait.

Today, I rode Dallas' great public transportation system back to Ft. Worth. I took the DART from by my house to downtown Dallas, then got on the Trinity Railway Express to go the rest of the way to Ft. Worth. Now the DART is just a little metro, but the TRE is a real live train.

My great-grandfather was a train conductor 70 years ago. My grandmother always talks about how she would ride the train with "Mother" to visit my grandfather. I would have loved to have been with her on some of her trips.

My father is a pilot. I have always loved flying, especially flying on his flights overseas...first class.

Traveling is something that has been instilled in me, and I am grateful for that because it brings me much joy and anticipation.

Now, enjoy these pictures from my journey.

My view as I pulled away from Union Station in Dallas.

The view in front of me...please don't make fun of my feet.

Me, peacefully reading, listening to James Mark, and enjoying the world rushing by...and the cute/could-be-annoying-if-I-didn't-have-my-iPod-in kids next to me.

PaDebi

2010-01-13T18:39:00.000-08:00

Well, it happened. I left Waco. I moved to Ft. Worth a week and a half ago for an internship. I now "work" at Gladney Center for Adoption. But I'm not talking about Gladney now, I'm talking about PaDebbie.

Translated that is Paul and Debi in 2 year old language. I met Paul and Debi about a year and a half ago at my mom and stepdad's rehersal dinner, and then again at the wedding. That was it. After the wedding Paul and Debi left my mind.

Then this past fall I decided to do my internship in Ft. Worth...meaning I would have to find somewhere to live. In Waco world, or maybe just Antioch world, poor students living with families for very little is fairley common, hello my life for the past 5 years. So, my mind immediatley went to looking for a family to let me live with them. Surley someone has family in Ft. Worth that doesn't mind having me live with them for 3 months. I mean I'm quiet, I don't eat much, I stay out of the way, I have the ability to clean up after myself (much to my roommates skepticism), I really wounldn't be much trouble...I sound like Mr. Jones.

Anyways, someone mentions Paul and Debi, and immediatley I knew that I was going to live with them and it would be wonderful. I never once had a doubt in my mind that this was not exactly what was supposed to happen. To this day, I still believe that.

Paul and Debi have been such an incredible blessing these past two weeks. Already I have learned to keep a room clean for a week and a half, that you can buy shrimp deveined (but I also learned how to devein a shrimp, if needbe), and that it is possible to go to bed before 10:00. But really so much more. I have learned how selflessly these two people are laying their lives down for other people, be it me, their son, their friends, or whoever they are with. They love extravagantly and have taken me in as one of their own.

In a time where I am so far from any of my homes, it is nice to still feel at home (and have someone cook dinner for me every night!) Thank you Jesus for PaDebi!

Mr. Jones and Me

2010-01-10T11:36:00.001-08:00

Well, here he is. The Beloved Mr. Jones. I first met Mr. Jones outside of my old house. I was walking someone out to their car at night and when they turned on their lights, there he was just sitting by the curb...the cuttest little thing you have ever seen. I couldn't resist. He was such a little thing, so poor and defenseless, I couldn't help but pick him up and bring him up to the porch. (I will pause here to let you all know, incase you didn't already, that I have NOT always been a cat lover. I used to call all 7 of Whitney Shanhouse's (friend from high school) cats "Tito" because I didn't care enough about them to learn their real names...even now I can't tell you what they were.)

I couldn't just let the poor little thing go off wandering into the night, digging through trash cans for food! So, much to Tiffany's dismay, I gave the little kitten some milk...from her ceramic heart bowl. Yeah, that didn't last very long. The next day I caved and bought some cat food from the store. And from then on, he was my little Mr. Jones (well, he was Maia at first, but we had to change the name after he, um, matured a bit.)

Well, Mr. Jones has moved to a new home. It was time. As I have moved to Ft. Worth for this semester (more on this to come in later posts) I could not be responsible, or have others be responsible, for him anymore the way he deserved. He is in a good home, the best one he could posibly have. He has much more land to wander, pounce, and prance around in. He will like it there.

So, Godspeed, Mr. Jones. Be good for Lane and Amy. Don't be afraid of Kingsley (their great dane) and Ruby. Be a good hunter and take out those pesky squirrels for them. And most importantly, don't run away, you won't get fed that way! Love you Jonesy.

I'm not dreaming!

2009-12-25T20:06:00.000-08:00

It happened. Every December 24th, for the past 25 years of my life, I have gone to bed dreaming I would wake up the next morning to snow covering the ground outside. And finally, this morning, as I arose and looked out the window I almost cried at the sight of it...it was beautiful, my first White Christmas.

So, what did I do? Well, obviously, I went outside and made a snowman.

Yes I, and I alone, made a snowman, I guess attempted to make a snowman would be better. The snow was very powdery, making it hard to pack it down. But that 2 and a half foot tall snowman, with a leaf for his nose and berries for his mouth and eyes, was one of my most proud creations.

Of course my grandparents and mom thought I was so cute, I think for my stepdad, aunt, uncle, and cousins, it just affirmed their thoughts of my strange ways...but I don't care, I LOVED making that snowman this morning. It was the hightly of my day. The pure joy of being a child again - not caring what people were thinking, that my hands were freezing, or that I had no carrot for his nose, only that my heart was overwhelmed with joy that God had allowed this to happen to delight my heart for a moment, and I like to think only for that reason...I think he is living for those moments every day, I am just to blind to see them, Lord open my eyes...

MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL! :)

Beaches and Books

2009-12-08T19:55:00.000-08:00

It always seems that my mom ends up going on some luxious vacation around this time of the year...finals time of the year. New York, Caramel, and this year: a cruise.

It really just isn't fair. I sit at the library for 6 hours by a window, where outside it is freezing, and she is lounging on the deck of a cruise ship basking in the sun. I guess that's what comes with retirement.

But I guess it's ok, because she did send me this card full of awesomeness...

Inside:

Love you mom! And, yes, I will probably do that to my kids one day too...send a Godzilla card to them that is.

Blustery Day

2009-12-02T17:36:00.001-08:00

Cold, cold cold. Today was just that, but I absolutley loved it. I hear the Dallasonians(?) had snow this morning...I am highly anticipating the same for Waco on Friday. We'll see how that turns out.

So, on this frigid evening, this is where I am spending it...

...all while sipping tea, listening to Josh Groban and creating a paper, or two.

And just for fun, here is my favorite ornament on the Murray's tree:

Put on a scarf before you go out! :)

Peanuts

2009-12-01T21:31:00.000-08:00

I'm glad we have ours inside of our house. It's warmer inside...it is Brrr outside! And I love it! :)

It is time...

2009-11-23T19:35:00.000-08:00

Yes, I realize that it is not quite Thanksgiving yet, however Christmast music has been playing in my car, on my computer, and in my head for several weeks now already. With that, I decided it was time to start watching Straight No Chaser's 12 Days of Christmas. It is one of my favorite Christmas songs these days...and if you've heard it, you know why. Watch it and enjoy...Merry beginning of the Holiday Season everyone!

At the End of Slavery

2009-11-10T21:07:00.000-08:00

IJM, the International Justice Mission, is coming out with a new movie called At the End of Slavery which is sharing the issue of slavery, human trafficking, in today's world. Human Trafficking is now the 3rd largest grosing illegal "business" in the world today. This atrocity that was thought to have died out years ago does exist in today's society.

This Sunday at 6:00 pm there will be a showing of this video at Antioch Community Church here in Waco. I would invite you to all come and learn more about this injustice that is occuring in our own nation, and what is being done around the world to stop it. Let it be a challenge for us to press in to prayer, seeing as this may be the only way we can combat this issue right now. (Even though this may seem like a small thing...I believe it is much more powerful than any of us believe!)

Also, if you are going to the Baylor vs. UT game this weekend, people are going to be wearing purple arm bands (the color of trafficking) to raise awareness of this issue. It's just a small little armband, but the more people that wear them, the more we open people's eyes to the truth. So, if you're going, find someone before or during the game who is passing them out and tie it on.

(and can someone who is an expert blogger tell me how to put video's on here??? thanks!)

Good Morning Blogspot

2009-10-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

Jak se mas! That's Praganeese for, "I'm excited about my new blogspot!" After years of Catpeople249's absence, I have come back to the blogging world, and I have to say, I'm pretty stoked about it.

I thought I couldn't start one for a long time because I didn't have a reason (like moved to Africa, or New York, or getting married) but then I realized I was moving to Fort Worth for a few months, and that was a good enough reason for me.

Well, hope you enjoy learning about Peaces of Me (and hopefully throughout our time together I will evolve more as a peacemaker...thank you Katy Rose and Jesus for starting that in me!) So, here we go...ole!